I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
