he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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