Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
