I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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