i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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