Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
