My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
