Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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