i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
