Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
