I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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