I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
