he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
