i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
