my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
