is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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