It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
