i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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