and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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