I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
