but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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