hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
