Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need to calm my uterus...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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