They should really pass out barf bags in church
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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