Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
