i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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