after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
