There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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