I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
