I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
