love makes seman taste better
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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