kristin has been a bad kristin
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
