What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
