Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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