normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize
