it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
