are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
