He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Randomize