Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
