so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
