Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
