Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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