I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
