I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?