i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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