So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
