he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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