We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
