she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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