You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I FOUND THE LEGS
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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