i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize