kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
