Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
