Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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