Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
