Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
