Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
