Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
