Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
