I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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