me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
