the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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